real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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