she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize