Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
