seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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