apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
