Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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