He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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