You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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