dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The uberlube is also flammable
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
