is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
