Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize