so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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