Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
