how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
