More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
