On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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