Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
