this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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