morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
