i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
