Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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