You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize