Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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