You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
