I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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