Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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