I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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