you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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