i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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