You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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