I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The Olympian is in my bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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