Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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