i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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