You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
