My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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