Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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