anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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