He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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