it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.