well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit