I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need moral support for this bender
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.