I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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