I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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