My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize