he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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