I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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