Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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