If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
