Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
