your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your cock deserves a montage
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
