I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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