i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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