How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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