sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As shirtless as possible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
