when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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