jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
