is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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