my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Blood and glitter go together right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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