Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
