Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize