I want to make a zoo with you.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
